Phodophilia and Chlorophobia
by Sasaki in a Top Hat
Summary: Fickle Alexis never really pays attention to the outside world due to a past incident. So, what does a company-starved mind strive for when two REALLY good-looking boys show up at her school? Pokemon Special based, minor SpecialShipping.


**Phodophilia and Chlorophobia**

A PokeSpe comedy oneshot

Hey there. I haven't posted any stories here, so this little gem deserves some time in the spotlight. Please, review. REVIEWS ARE THE LIFEBLOOD TO AUTHORS, I'M SURE YOU ALL KNOW.

_I tried to own Pokemon Special, and I failed. So Alexis, Demi, the other fangirls, and the high school are the only things I own._

Considering she was always indoors, she didn't notice the arrival of those four until five days after they came.

Alexis couldn't stand the outside. Everywhere she looked was mental pain unless she happened to have a blindfold or she looked directly up into the sky. Indoors was always best; there were rarely any triggers to her fear. The few friends of hers that actually respected her condition often stayed by her during lunchtimes, and they had not heard the news either.

So it was a bit of a surprise when three unfamiliar teenagers arrived in her Battle class first thing Friday morning. The first teen was easily recognisable, despite being five years older than those pictures that splattered those newspapers at the time of the ninth Pokémon League. A large grin was plastered upon his tanned face. He wore a hat, surprisingly- the teachers of Viridian High School rarely tolerated breaches of the rules, but perhaps they were awed or even frightened of this ebony-haired teenager. The two other teens tailing the black-haired one looked vaguely as if they could be siblings. At a glance, Alexis noted they both had brown hair and the same colour skin. They were of opposite genders- fraternal twins, perhaps?

Red, the Ninth Champion, headed towards the teacher's desk while the other two made their way towards the spare desks near the back of the room. As they passed her, Alexis glanced into their eyes. The girl had a mischievous twinkle in her azure orbs, a wicked smirk playing upon her features as she scanned the students. The boy was looking directly at his intended desk. One look into his almond-shaped eyes made Alexis avert her gaze immediately.

Mr. Numelle, the Battle teacher, idly looked up from the paperwork he had been avidly reading. He was a rather plain man, a little on the plump side. He had a mane of salt-and-pepper hair sprouting from both his scalp and his ears, which he always seemed quite proud of due to still retaining even after fifty or so years of life. He scrutinised the jabbering class, shot a slightly eerie smile to the boy standing by his side, and cleared his throat loudly.

"As some of you may know," he stated in his usual gravelly voice, "this boy here is Red Julius, the Ninth Champion of the Pokémon League." A gasp of admiration arose from the class, mainly from the kids who did not pay attention to the news when they were eleven. Red smiled proudly and waved at them. "The other two," Mr. Numelle started, destroying the murmurs once again, "also placed in the Ninth League, so it is an honour to welcome them here. One of them is even the local Gym Leader! They started training Pokémon at a very young age, which only the talented are privileged to do. The great Professor Oak has named Red _The Fighter,_ therefore he must be good with battle strategies, right?" He looked quizzically at the boy in question, who nodded quickly.

Personally, Alexis never really liked Battle class. She found it too trivial; when was she really going to apply it in real life? Personally, she wished to do something easy and where she could stay at home. Write a novel, perhaps. Her face lit up momentarily until the image of a large D floated into her mind, reminding her of her poor English grades. So a novel was out of the question. But anything would be good, even a housewife. With a dreamy smile, she gazed at the man who she hoped to be married to one day.

Red. Wow, he was stunning. Apparently every girl in the class agreed with her, as they stared at the ebony-haired boy with a slightly greedy, slack-jawed expression on their faces. His words seemed to dance in the air, a much more pleasant sound than the hoarse bark of Mr. Numelle. He seemed to be enjoying his speech, chuckling quietly at his jokes (while every girl in the room except one laughed obnoxiously). The time passed quickly, too quickly, as Red demonstrated how Sunny Day could be used to power up not only Fire types, but also Grass.

"Thank you, Champion Red." Mr. Numelle cut the boy off mid-sentence.

"No problem, sir," the Ninth Champion grinned, unintentionally causing a wave of flushes amongst the girls.

"We will pick up this lesson on Tuesday. You have no homework tonight, cherish this fact. Good afternoon, everyone."

"Good afternoon, Mr. Numelle," half the class droned, a few teens lagging and causing an echo. Alexia scooped up her books and set off to her homeroom. All her thoughts were centered around that one boy, the first colour in the spectrum. His dazzling smile, his gentle words… and he had a Pikachu. Despite never having an interest in training, she had always had a soft spot for the electric mouse and had always considered a low-voltage variety as a pet. But she wouldn't mind having a plain old battle variety, if it came with that hunk of a colour.

Alexis froze just as she was about to put her books in her desk. All those other girls, the drooling idiots, they would be thinking the same thoughts. Trying to take HER MAN. Angrily, she slammed the desk down. She wouldn't let that happen.

It was now lunchtime, and handfuls of children were milling around the bag racks outside of the classrooms. Alexis scurried past them, muttering apologies as she barreled through a small group. Hopefully Red hadn't gone outside just yet…

And with a grimace, she found out he hadn't. About ten girls were surrounding the poor boy, seven on them sprawled on the ground and clawing at each other and the remaining three clinging onto his clothing and pleading with him to go out on a date. The two League Runner-Ups were standing behind him, doing nothing to help their friend; rather, the boy was looking away distractedly and the girl was laughing loudly at his expense.

One of the larger girls in the school barged past those two and scooped Red up in a large bear hug. Her thin brown pigtails swung wildly as she gripped the boy, swaying and burying her head in his fluffy hair. Alexis blanched. It was Demi Walberg, an outcast within the walls of the school. Fifteen years old, six and a half feet tall, and around 300 pounds- not all of which was fat, as the bulging eyes and strangled cries of the Ninth Champion.

"You're so cute!" the substantial girl squealed, an odd sound considering her voice was usually deep and booming. The seven or so girls on the ground stopped scrapping, and looked up at their prize slowly having the life strangled out of him. The three clingy girls were trying to save him, tugging at Demi's arms. Alexis, though she didn't want to admit it, found it quite humorous.

Someone walked into Alexis's back, making her stumble forward. Eyes narrowed, fist raised, the girl turned to confront the perpetrator. The child who had so rudely blundered into her was bent down, shiny blonde hair obstructing her face, picking up the several textbooks she had dropped. She was somewhat younger than Alexis, and considering Alexis was not a bully she sent the blonde girl one final glare she turned back to the situation at hand.

Now all ten girls were attempting to pry Red free. Though he was still held tight, he seemed to be able to breathe properly once again. Demi, and by default Red, had stopped swinging and swaying. The large girl was now yelling odd declarations of affection, including Alexis's favourite of "THE MEANING OF LUVDISCS IS MEANINGLESS COMPARED TO THE LOVE WE HOLD!"

The blonde girl who had walked into Alexis had finally looked up, and her face fell. "Oh, for Mew's sake…" she muttered, butter yellow eyes displaying a mix of emotions. Alexis both frowned and raised her eyebrows simultaneously – a strange feat she mastered the previous summer –, confused at her response. Did she know the struggling boy?

The whole crowd of girls had started declaring their love to Red in front of a decent sized crowd. One girl made a grab for his hair, a memento of the Ninth Champion they had all become infatuated with. Red's uncomfortable frown continued to deepen, until the final straw came.

"WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME?" at least four of the girls and Demi screamed virtually together, desperation evident in their quivering voices.

"…No," came the virtually silent reply.

The yells died down, as the girls heard him but not his specific answer. "What did you say?" inquired a redhead that was one of the girls to pose the question earlier.

"NO!" Red boomed with a volume to rival Demi. "Oh my Arceus, didn't you hear me earlier? I was talking to these guys over here-" he pointed to the stoic boy and the chuckling girl "-before you all swarmed me, saying that I hope I didn't get too many fangirl crushes and that she'd be upset if I did!"

An awkward silence. The blonde girl near Alexis grimaced.

"Wh… what?" asked Demi, confusion plastered on her flabby face.

"ARGH!" Red screamed, crimson eyes flashing, temper now as high as Mount Coronet. "I-AM-ALL-READY-TAKE-EN! I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND! JUST LET ME GO, OKAY? I HAVE STUFF TO DO!"

With a soft thump Red was dropped to the ground. He brushed himself off and pushed past the fangirls. As he walked by Alexis and the blonde, his frown softened and he smiled at the yellow-eyed girl. The hallway still silent, the two brown-haired teens followed the enraged boy. Again, someone recognized the blonde as the brunette grinned and winked at her.

Alexis, putting two and two together, bent down towards the younger girl's ear and hissed, "You're very lucky, chickadee." The blonde turned to face her but she was already gone, past the now murmuring crowd and up to the library. She wasn't hungry.

As she navigated the halls, she contemplated this event. Why hadn't she attacked the lucky girl and gone after Red herself? Why hadn't ANY of the girls chased him? She recalled the boy's face. He wasn't as handsome to her now. His tan was a little too brown and not orangey enough. He had a large mole distinctly on his chin, ugh. And his skin wasn't as clear as she liked it to be… Was it just an infatuation? That she simply loved the idea of him, a clever Champion? He had seemed so nice in class, yet his rage had twisted his face into an unattractive mask- an unattractive mask that had broken the illusion. Perhaps that was the same with the other girls.

_Oh well_, she reasoned as she walked through the door to the library, _he's taken and I don't want him now anyway. No loss._ She smiled at the young librarian who didn't look up from his book.

To Alexis, the library was a comforting place. Soft tan carpet, cream-coloured walls, leather-bound books, and the gentle and comforting silence… it was the perfect place to while away the lunch hour. With a quiet and contented sigh, she plucked a magazine off a rack and sat down at a nearby table.

Ten minutes passed and slowly the library filled up with kids in Year 9. Alexis cast her eye over the teens that were one year her junior. She thought back to her time in Year Nine. What assignment were they doing at the moment? The B she got on this project flashed into her mind, and with a small utterance of remembrance she recalled the fairly interesting Geography assessment task.

Within twenty minutes every table except hers was filled with quietly jabbering fifteen-year-olds. Two girls at the table next to her were neglecting their work and discussing the scene that Alexis herself was audience to earlier. Already she could hear the faint stirrings of rumour beginning as the shorter-haired girl explained that Red had actually fought his way out of the girls before announcing that he had a girlfriend. She also called them Phodophiliacs, which achieved a chuckle from her friend. Alexis sighed softly. A clever use of words- Phodophiacs were people who loved the colour red. She turned back to her magazine.

Red's brown-haired male friend was sitting opposite of her, reading a National Geographic. What was he doing sitting here? Alexis quickly scanned the room. There was only one other table with a free seat, and three brash boys who talked loudly about inappropriate matters occupied it. By what she had seen, the brunet was not the sort to talk about those sort of subjects.

Suddenly she noticed how handsome he was. She convinced herself that this time it was real as she studied the contours of his face. Hey, his tan was just the right sort of orange colour to her tastes and he didn't have a zit in sight! Her eyes glazed over as she stared at the shaggy-haired boy.

Up went his eyebrow as she noticed her gaze. "Can I help you?" he inquired in a melodic deep voice which was even better than Red's. Alexis dodged his eyes and stared coyly to the left.

"Hi," she stated with a little giggle.

"Hi," he replied in a bored tone.

"You know, I really love the shade of your hair," she said sweetly, batting her eyelids. "The reds, the blacks, the golds! They all melt perfectly into each other."

"Um, thanks." The brunet began reading his magazine again. Damn. He was a tough nut to crack.

"My name's Alexis," she offered. "What's yours?"

"Green," he sighed nonchalantly. Unfortunately, he had no idea what the effect on the poor girl would be at the simple utterance of his name.

Alexis's eyes widened. How could this be? A detestable colour like THAT as a name for such a handsome boy should be outlawed! Her breathing quickened. Sweat broke out on her forehead as her eyes darted from side to side. Swirling thoughts gathered in her mind. That awful, awful Torterra… She just thought it was a good resting place, that's all! It didn't have to practically EAT her out of anger… Its vibrant green insides haunted her dreams. She avoided those teeth of death by a hair, and unless some brave ranger had viewed the scene she herself would be a part of nature…

"I gotta go!" she screamed, holding her head with one hand and her stomach with the other. She felt bile rise up into her throat as she crashed through the doors of the library.

Green just stared, eyebrows slightly raised though utterly bewildered. That was definitely the strangest reaction he ever got at the mention of his name, even weirder then when that girl grabbed his crotch.

A boy behind him chuckled. "You're Green, right? New here?" Green nodded absentmindedly, turning to face him. "Well, Alexis there is Chlorophobic." He had heard that term before, yet he didn't know what the boy meant.

"Clarification?" he asked.

"Chloro. Green. Phobic. Afraid of." The boy's grey eyes sparkled. "Buddy, she's afraid of the colour green."


End file.
